Canyons
by Parthian Glory
Summary: 'Rarely do the words I love you precede a question mark – but it is a question nonetheless…' Lang Leav, Love and Misadventure


Canyons

'Rarely do the words _I love you_ precede a question mark – but it is a question nonetheless…'

 _Lang Leav, Love and Misadventure_

 _Disclaimer_ : This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by Aaron Korsh, Universal Cable and USA Network. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended

* * *

 **Chapter I: Confrontations**

"What's with you?" Mike asked, pushing past Harvey and barrelling straight into his boss' apartment. He dropped his case files on the breakfast bar and slumped down unceremoniously onto Harvey's lounge.

"Make yourself at home," Harvey drawled sarcastically, shutting the door behind his overly enthusiastic associate. He was having a quiet morning until Mike arrived.

"Have you talked to Donna?" Mike asked without preamble.

"Why?" Harvey knew why Mike was here, and he didn't want to talk about it.

"She's not answering her phone and Rachel's freaking out." Mike wandered up to the Harvey's kitchen in search of food. He grabbed an apple from the fruit bowl and sat down on a fancy white bar stool.

Harvey rolled his eyes. "Of course, and your world revolves around Rachel and her tantrums."

Mike frowned, "okay, I'm going to ignore that in light of your shitty mood. But seriously, what's going on?"

"How would I know?" Harvey asked irritably. "Why are you asking me?"

"Because the two of you always know what's going on with each other," Mike said with a pointed look aimed at his boss. "And besides, you look like hell. Your eyes are red, and that's an empty bottle of scotch. The last time, I saw you like this was when Jessica fired Donna."

Harvey sank into the sofa. Was it that obvious that Donna had such a big impact on him? Did everyone know that he couldn't function without her? That losing her, felt like he was lost himself?

He felt drained like he physically had no energy to deny anything anymore. There was no fight left in him. He had this uncanny ability to drive away the people who meant the most to him, but for the life of him, he had never imagined that Donna's name would be added to that list.

His eyes were fixed somewhere far off in the distance, and Mike found the sudden silence unsettling. It was unlike Harvey to stay quiet rather than retort with something insulting. The man seemed unfocused today.

Following his line of sight, Mike noticed a small cactus in a white pot sitting next to the sink in the kitchen. It was a strange thing for a man like Harvey to have. Perhaps it was a gift from someone, but Mike chose not to comment.

The air was thick with tension, as Mike watched Harvey's shoulders visibly slump. Suddenly, Harvey seemed old beyond his years – tired and beaten, and Mike was terrified by what he was witnessing. It was like watching a fighter fall in the ring, but only worse, because there were no wounds on his flesh, or blood on his hands, but the stiffness of his shoulders and his head bowed down in defeat was somehow much more painful to witness.

"Harvey?" Mike asked tentatively. Something big had happened, he could tell that much.

The silence in the room was deafening.

"Donna's leaving me."

* * *

"Donna, I know you're in there!" Rachel pounded on the door for the umpteenth time in the last twenty minutes. "If you don't open the door now, I'm going to have Mike and Harvey break your door down!"

The door abruptly opened, and a certain red-head glared back at Rachel. "What are you doing?" Donna demanded, arms crossed and looking frustrated, but she moved aside to let her best friend in.

"What am _I_ doing?" Rachel looked at her incredulously. "Donna, you've been missing since Friday night! You weren't answering my calls or replying to my messages. Mike even tried emailing you and you weren't responding. You weren't at Pilates and then I freaked out. You never miss Pilates. What happened?!"

"Nothing," Donna huffed. "Can't a woman just enjoy a quiet weekend at home?"

"Donna." There was no use lying. Obviously, something had happened and Rachel wasn't going to leave until Donna told her what was happening.

"It's no big deal, really," she tried to play it off casually.

"If it's no big deal, you wouldn't be missing all weekend," Rachel pointed out, following Donna into the kitchen.

"Want some chunky monkey?" Donna offered, trying to change the subject. She pulled out a tub of her favourite feel good ice-cream and took out two spoons from the drawer, before leading Rachel back into the living room.

"Why do I have a feeling that's all you've been eating this weekend?" Rachel settled into the couch, with Donna next to her.

Donna was trying to ignore the insinuation, but Rachel wasn't going to give in so easily.

"What, am I looking fat?" Donna joked, but there was no humour in her tone, and Rachel looked back at her with a soft, pleading gaze.

Donna sighed. Trust was a two way street. Rachel always came to Donna with her problems, because they were best friends and Donna always knew what to do and how to make things right. It was more difficult for Donna to let people in. She was all up for a laugh and a good time with friends, but she didn't like to share her problems. It left her open and vulnerable, and she didn't do weak.

"Donna, please." Rachel said softly, squeezing her hand, and then quickly pulled away when Donna blanched.

"No, it's not that," Donna reassured her friend hastily, aware that her voice was shaky. "It's just, that's the last thing he said to me…" she trailed off, desperately trying to fight back the tears, but it was no use.

She had been holding them in for too long, and hearing Rachel say those words made her remember Harvey's devastated face before she walked out of his office. She had done the very thing, Harvey was always afraid of – she had left him, and the guilt was eating away at her insides.

"God, Donna, you're scaring me." Rachel couldn't remember the last time she had seen her cry. "Who said that to you? What happened?"

With a choked sob, Donna finally confessed.

"Harvey happened."

* * *

It was in the late afternoon that Mike arrived home to the delicious aroma of spicy seafood. It alerted him immediately. Rachel only ever cooked seafood when she was really worried. The complexity of cooking shellfish served well as a temporary distraction.

"I got hold of Harvey," Mike declared, leaning against the doorway.

Rachel sighed. She turned the stove off and turned back to look at Mike. "Donna finally talked as well."

"So you're aware of the situation?" Mike clarified. "You know what Donna did right?"

"Of course," she nodded surely, "but I also know what Harvey did and I think it's only fair that Donna did what she did."

"So you actually approve of what she did?" He could hardly believe what he was hearing.

"It's her life, her choice – who am I to approve?" Rachel reasoned, "But she is my best friend and I will stand by her."

"I love Donna too," Mike snapped, "but I can't believe that she would just walk out on him like that. Not after everything he did for her, not after knowing how much he needs her!"

"What about what Donna needs?" Rachel asked incredulously, outraged by Mike's insensitivity. She almost threw the dishtowel at his head in anger. "Why the hell, does everything always have to be about Harvey or his needs?! Donna has worked for him for fourteen years. Whether Harvey acknowledges it or not, they had something far deeper than a professional relationship. They were friends. Donna put her life on hold for him…"

"Without any self-interest?" Mike scoffed, "Come on Rachel, that's bull and you know it. Harvey went through hell, trying to save her ass and she repaid him by walking out on him."

"She loved him, Mike," Rachel stared at him in disbelief. "She's hurting too."

Mike sighed, "I understand that she's hurt, but she can't just up and leave just because he doesn't love her like she wants him to."

"Not because he doesn't, but because he won't admit it and Donna deserves better than that. She's trying to move on, and she can't do that when she has to see him every day. She loves him."

"If she loves him, then how could she stand to leave him?"

"How can you say that? Do you even know what happened?"

"They had an argument on Thursday night in his office, and then on Friday, Donna decided that she was done with him," Mike told her.

Rachel could see how troubled he was. A part of Mike saw Harvey and Donna as surrogate parents. They had taken him under his wing and brought him out of a really dark place, and they were constantly fighting to keep him out of trouble. They lied for him, they called him out on his mistakes, often in the most brutally honest manner, but they always had his back. They were Mike's family and Donna leaving Harvey, even in a professional capacity, felt like his family was breaking up again.

She understood how hurt he was, but he needed to know the whole truth. "Mike, he told her he loved her and then just left. When Donna confronted him, he said he was only trying to make her feel better," Rachel said softly. "It's not as simple as your making it sound. She deserves more than his pity. If I were in Donna's place and you had said that to me, then it would crush me."

Mike looked shocked. Apparently, Harvey hadn't told him everything and he needed to know why.

"Where are you going?" Rachel demanded, as Mike abruptly stood up and tenaciously strode towards the living room. Rachel followed him anxiously, watching as he quickly wore his coat and wrapped a scarf around his neck.

"To see Harvey," he replied. He had a couple of choice words to say to his mentor.

"Honey?"

"Yes?" Mike turned back to her, expecting her loving smile or a sweet kiss to reconcile their fight.

Rachel looked back at him with warm, liquid eyes. "Will you please buy me some macaroons on your way home?"

* * *

"Who the hell do you think you are?" Mike stormed into Harvey's apartment without any announcement or greeting for the second time that day. It had only been a couple of hours since he had left, and now he was back again

"What did you just say to me?" Harvey stared at Mike with an expression of disbelief.

"You heard what I said. Who do you think you are to jerk Donna around like that? She's not one of your toys, and you don't get to treat her like crap." The associate demanded, fuming.

Harvey should have known this was coming. "Mike."

"No, when I asked you what happened, you gave me some bullshit about how she was leaving you because you got into a fight. You made it sound like she was the one who messed up, but you're the one who started it all. You've been using her, and she deserves better that that."

"Don't you get it? Damn it, she left me! I didn't leave her. She promised not to leave and she walked out anyway. She betrayed me." Harvey roared.

"Stop trying to make her the villain. She has to live her life, Harvey. You can't control her. You've been leading her on for the last fourteen years." Mike yelled back.

A part of Harvey was touched to see Mike vehemently defend Donna, because that's exactly what Donna did when Harvey and Mike fought. She did everything she could to make things go back to normal. They were a family and that's what families did – stuck up for each other and stuck together in times of crisis. But this time – Mike was out of line.

"Don't talk about things you don't know." Harvey warned him. "You've said your piece, now get out of here."

"I'm not leaving until you explain yourself. What the hell are you doing? Just because she said she was leaving, why did you let her go?" Mike demanded.

"Who gave you the right to interfere in our business? This is between me and Donna. I don't need you to be my fucking therapist."

"Trust me, I don't want to be your therapist. I wouldn't be able to deal with all your shit anyway," Mike retorted angrily.

As much as he wanted to be furious with his associate, Harvey couldn't. How could he be, when all Mike was doing was looking out for Donna? Mike coming here tonight, with all his anger directed at him was only a fierce display of loyalty. And Harvey held that in the highest regard.

"I know you're upset." Harvey said finally. "You want me to admit it then fine – I am too. But there's nothing I can do. It's her decision and she's leaving."

"You let her go," Mike accused. He felt awful. Nothing would be the same without Donna. She was like the glue that held them together and without her, they were already falling apart.

Harvey looked at the man before him, and suddenly he seemed like a lost little boy, and then it all made sense to him. Mike had lost everyone he called his own. They were the only people he had left along with Rachel, and now he felt like he was losing them too. Harvey didn't know what to say, so he stood up and poured some scotch, "Here, have a drink."

"I can't," Mike mumbled. "I have to buy macaroons for Rachel." He looked away, and resolutely walked himself out. He had said everything he had wanted to say, and received all the answers he needed to know. Harvey's silence had said it all.

Watching him leave, Harvey rubbed his eyes tiredly. He hadn't slept all night, and tonight looked like it was going to be the same. Mike's words would haunt him forever.

" _You let her go_."


End file.
